Big Bang Divorce: 4 Key Steps to a Quieter Divorce
Big Bang Divorce Star avoids adversarial breakup
Mayim Bialik of the Big Bang Theory avoided her own Big Bang divorce from her real life husband and allowed it to be a quiet affair. Unlike many Hollywood celebrities, the star of the massively successful TV series – along with her husband Micheal Stone – quietly finalized their split this year, evenly sharing out their property.
In theory, how do I avoid a Big Bang Divorce and settle things without resorting to adversarial lawyers?
Taking responsibility for the journey you are on, being clear on what outcomes you want, and not letting your emotional state be used against your interests, are the key steps to take. This is your divorce – and you can’t just dump responsibility on how it progresses on a lawyer if things get nasty.
It is very easy for anger and emotional pain to make someone an easy target for an adversarial lawyer, promising financial success that disappears in a flurry of lawyers bills, and where even the revenge of winning a court battle turns quickly sour when the true costs – increased bitterness on both sides, damage to the children – poison a future that could have been much healthier, and less expensive. Blaming your Ex doesn’t help either – anything that takes the responsibility away from you is actually giving away your own power to be the master of your own future.
Instead of wasting money on nasty legal letters going back and forth, you are usually better off talking with a financial planner to test out various long-term scenarios, or working with a Money Coach to build your confidence in dealing with your finances both during and after the divorce. Getting some quality coaching to help you focus on a positive future, and using mediation or collaborative law to support you creating a sustainable settlement. Free initial consultations are available from many experts online so let Google be your friend. Remember that information is power and don’t give that power away to others as a side effect of anger or fear over how your divorce could – and will – change your life.
The best way to avoid wasting money on adversarial lawyers is simply to take time to talk to other experts who can empower you:
- You are in charge of this divorce – don’t hand over responsibility to anyone else
- Access the wealth of free information available and get your life on track
- Don’t tell yourself “I’ll deal with that after my divorce” because dealing with that financial, parenting or lifestyle issue needs to be done now, not later
- Keep your spirits up. Nothing feeds adversarial divorce more than depression, exhaustion and repressed anger.
Finally, if you want to avoid a Big Bang Divorce that gets out of hand, the way that helps most of us stay away from court battles is simply looking at our children, and putting their long term psychological and emotional wellbeing at the forefront of our minds every day. They are an amazing reminder of why adversarial divorce is not the way forward for any family.
Suzy Miller is your Alternative Divorce Guide www.alternativedivorceguide.com